I’m pregnant and don’t want the baby. What do I do next?
If you are having these thoughts, it can be confusing to know what to do. An unplanned pregnancy can be an overwhelming situation to be in and, if you know you are pregnant but don’t want it, choosing the right path to take is a life-changing decision.
First off, know that you are not alone. These feelings that you have of being pregnant and not wanting the baby — or not wanting to be pregnant at all — are common if you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant. What you’ll need to do, however, is determine whether these feelings are a product of the initial stressors of an unplanned pregnancy or serious concerns to take into account when deciding what to do next.
If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant,” the first thing to do is to take a deep breath and evaluate your situation. There are always options available to you, and you’ll need to take the time to learn a bit more about them before deciding what to do next.
If You’re Early in Your Pregnancy
When you first discover you are unexpectedly pregnant, it’s normal to think, “I don’t want to be pregnant.” After all, a pregnancy brings with it additional stressors and complications that you obviously did not want at this time in your life.
If you don’t want to be pregnant, it’s important to consider what you are really feeling. Do you not want to experience pregnancy, or do you simply not want to be a parent? Answering this question will give you a better idea of which unplanned pregnancy option will be right for you.
If you simply don’t want to be pregnant, abortion may be your best option. An abortion is the only unplanned pregnancy option that prevents carrying a pregnancy to full term and giving birth. However, before you commit to obtaining an abortion, make sure that you research the procedure and learn more about the medical and emotional risks involved.
If you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant and don’t want the baby,” placing your baby for adoption is an option — and may be the right choice for you. If you are pregnant and don’t want the baby, know that you can give your child a happy, healthy life with people who desperately want to be parents. Adoption is a difficult journey, but it is a selfless, loving decision that can be extremely positive with the assistance of experienced adoption professionals.
There is also one more unplanned pregnancy option available to you: parenting. If you originally think, “I’m pregnant and don’t want it,” but wonder if your feelings may change, remember that you always have the right to choose to keep your baby and raise him or her, no matter what steps you’ve taken in an adoption process.
Rather than rush into a decision early in your pregnancy when you’re thinking, “I am pregnant but I don’t want a baby,” it’s important to seriously consider your options and give yourself time to reflect. In time, your feelings may grow to change — but if you choose an abortion before working through these feelings, your decision will be irreversible.
If You’re Far Along in Your Pregnancy
Sometimes, women are excited for an unplanned pregnancy but, as their pregnancy progresses and the realities of their situation sinks in, they start to reconsider. In these circumstances, they may find themselves thinking, “I don’t want to have a baby.”
First off, remember that pregnancy and childbirth can be a scary experience, especially if this is your first pregnancy. It’s completely normal to worry about your pregnancy and second-guess your original intentions. Fortunately, if you are thinking, “I’m pregnant and don’t want the baby,” remember that adoption is always an option, no matter how far along you are in your pregnancy.
However, before deciding on adoption or raising a child, it’s important to consider where your thoughts and feelings are coming from to choose the best path for you. Are you nervous about raising a child and just experiencing normal jitters, or are your feelings indicative of a deeper-seated unwillingness to be a parent? Only you can answer this question, but you may benefit from speaking with a trained social worker to discuss your feelings and determine whether you are seriously considering adoption or just have cold feet about your parenting plans.
Remember, you are never obligated to choose adoption, even if you have made an adoption plan. If you are unsure whether you want to parent or not, consider making an adoption plan with an adoption professional just in case. This way, you can learn more about the adoption process and have a plan in place if you decide “I don’t want this baby” after giving birth.
The adoption attorneys at the Parker Herring Law Group PLLC can always connect you to an options counselor for more information — completely for free and with no obligation to choose adoption unless you are confident it’s right for you.
How to Cope with Your “Pregnant and Don’t Want to Be” Feelings
If you are pregnant, it’s normal to have feelings of “I don’t want my baby,” especially if you are stressed and overwhelmed during your pregnancy. What’s important is determining exactly where these feelings are coming from and addressing the root of the issue.
These feelings may come from antenatal or postpartum depression, especially if you are also experiencing symptoms like:
- Chronic anxiety or sadness
- Change in appetite or sleep habits
- Inability to concentrate
- Frequent crying
- Mood swings
- Lack of energy
If you think you may be depressed, seek out a medical professional immediately. Depression can be very serious but, with proper treatment, you may find that your negative thoughts about your pregnancy and your baby disappear.
If you are having feelings of not wanting to be pregnant or not wanting your baby, it can be helpful to speak with not only an options counselor but also close family and friends. Consider reaching out to those who would support you in whatever decision you make to receive the support and guidance you may need at this point. Remember, the choice is ultimately yours, but many women find that talking out their feelings with their loved ones brings new clarity to their thoughts.
No matter what you are thinking, it’s always a good idea to learn more about all of your unplanned pregnancy options to determine which next step is right for you. If that may be adoption, please contact the adoption attorneys at the Parker Herring Law Group PLLC for more information about this process and to learn how to get started today.